I was riding my bike
I had partaken in the consumption of some adult beverages
I had urinated in a parking lot
After a fun evening of helping put on the KCsprints First Friday's Grudge Matches at the Cellar Rat in the Crossroads district of downtown KCMO, a short visit to the Team Frank Stallone ADA alley cat, a couple drinks with a few of the KC Wizard's cheerleaders, and a stop at Buzzard Beach, I was on the way to El Rancho to meet up with Jones for a late night post bar snack.
I was riding alone and in route I realized that I really, really needed to relieve myself.
I was in the parking lot behind the Westport Sunfresh so I figured, what the hell? I rolled around to the loading dock where I figured I would be out of sight (not even really considering that with 3 blinkies between my bike and bag I wasn't really out of sight) and did my business.
I remounted my bike and was rolling through the parking lot when I spotted a couple police officers. They yelled, I smiled, waved and continued riding; which was in their general direction.
Then I realize that one of the two officers was yelling with one hand up, as to tell me to stop, and with the other hand on his weapon.
The other officer was running at me yelling at me to stop or he was gonna "tackle me off my bike".
I was caught quite by surprise by this, I stopped and dismounted.
As the running officer got to me he yelled (screamed is a more accurate description) for me to get to drop my bag (had my big yellow backpack on) and get on my knees with my hands on my head.
Not being interested in being tasered or shot I did what I was told.
By this point both officers we next to me. Both yelling about how I better do what I was told.
I (possibly un-wisely) responded that I was cooperating with no resistance and asked if they would please calm down. I was sure to use the word "sir" before and after each thing I said.
They continued yelling about how I hadn't stopped when they "ordered" me to. Asking if I was carrying any weapons. Asking what was in my "f*cking bag?"
"I'm sorry sir I couldn't understand what you were saying. I wasn't running. No sir, no weapons. All that's in my bag is some clothing, bike tools and maybe a couple of beers."
Why they bothered to ask about weapons or what was in my bag didn't make much sense considering they were already digging through my bag and patting me down.
"What the f*ck is this? You said you had no weapons!" yelled one of the officers as he pulled my Gerber pocket knife out of my pocket.
"Sorry sir. Putting that in my pocket is just like putting my wallet in my pocket when I get dressed. I don't think much about it." I also once again asked the officers to calm down since I was cooperating with them.
They yelled some more about this and that.
(keep in mind that I am still on my knees with my hands on my head)
They yelled about how they were going to ticket me for peeing in public.
I agreed that I had done so and was willing to accept the ticket.
Then they yelled about how they should also ticket me for "riding while drinking" to which I pointed out (while trying not to laugh) that they could, although I doubted it would stick.
And I once again pointed out that I was cooperating and asked them to to please calm down.
After a bit more yelling at me for what was basically nothing they calmed down enough to let me stand and put some of my items back in my bag.
They then advised me to be careful on my ride home, handed me back my knife and walked off.
Just yelling and intimidation.